“We can’t underestimate the value of silence. We need to create ourselves, need to spend time alone. If you don’t, you risk not knowing yourself and not realizing your dreams.” ~Jewel
As children, we have all heard the story of The Tortoise and The Hare. Well, tortoises are out of fashion these days. They are no longer the wise ones who carefully used to take one step at a time, coming out victorious at the end. Today, they are the ones who are not able to finish the race. There is a sense of shame and guilt being a “tortoise”.
So, I have spent a considerable time trying to be the extroverted hare. We all know that’s not possible for someone to change their own style of thinking, imagining and changing the way one finds comfort.
As opposed to extroverts who turn to other people to recharge and renew themselves, too much interaction drains me. I am never that excited to go to a party or socializing and interacting with people. I have wrestled with my own mind with the fact that something is seriously wrong with me if I am not able to enjoy parties and other social gatherings which almost everyone is always hyped about.
I recently decided to let go of this primitive thought. By going deeper into my own mind, I found out that writing, gazing into the sky, listening music brought me joy and fuels me up. My exclusive interest and curiosity in astronomy and the night sky brought me happiness and energy to do a task. I literally feel present and whole. I prefer listening than blabbering. I also found out that small talks are draining for me, I never enjoy them but meaningful long talks are energizing. Well, its necessary to expend energy here but also gives us back the energy we want. It’s not always a one-way thing.
So, it’s important to unplug ourselves and go deeper into our nature, understand our needs and comfort. Thinking deeply gives us new insights. It helps us see new relationships between things. If reading books, building legos, stargazing gives us joy, that’s what we should be doing rather than attending parties and other social gatherings which may make us morally down. It was rightfully said by Susan Cain that, “Don’t think of introversion as something that needs to be cured. Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you are supposed to.”
Social interactions are sometimes a big challenge for me. Usually, I end up staring awkwardly at someone’s face. I have a different rhythm in how I communicate.
When I am questioned, I usually pause for some time. I require, the so-called “space” to think properly. A lot of thoughts rush through my mind but its quite surprising that I cannot answer it. I find it really difficult to gush out air from my mouth and express the answer, nevertheless, inside my mind, there is a continuous flow of answers and hypotheses. Since I remain silent, people perceive this as I have nothing to say and rush to their own conclusion and thoughts. So, when people talk about their conclusion, this disrupts everything in my mind leading me to look blank.’
Instead of not getting an opportunity to speak up, I have started responding differently by providing visual cues like nodding the head or furrowing my eyebrows.
I have noticed one more thing in me. Whenever I manage to speak up, I start trembling, my voice gets shaky. You all must be thinking that it’s nervousness right? I feel it’s not as I usually experience this even while speaking to my close friends and family members. That’s quite abnormal for me. I try taking deep breaths and all those relaxation techniques but it never helped. So, usually, I don’t speak up and keep my thoughts and views with me. I feel solitude can be the springboard of our creativity.
Stop trying to mould yourself into someone else.Trust me, in this way you are going to make yourself unhappy. Accept who you are. Try finding people with the similar spirit you have. In this way, we won’t feel left out every time. Embrace your introversion. Don’t rush, instead, slow down, simplify and set your mind and you will get better results. Connecting with our talents and believing in ourselves will help us actualize our talents. I know it must be great being a hare, but not if you are a tortoise.
I am really glad that you have found this small fragment of the internet!
I began blogging a year ago just to attain mindfulness and peace by writing and sharing stories with the world. Through this blog, It's helping me understand myself better and helps me fulfil my desire to express my thoughts. Come join me on this magical journey!!