AM I DEPRESSED OR LAZY

Am I depressed or lazy: Apart from depression, laziness can be considered as a part of everyone’s life. Sometimes laziness reaches to that extent when it completely consumes us and it makes it difficult for us to move a muscle. It makes us trapped. I had to face days when all I did was sleep throughout the day which made me feel dizzy, avoided doing anything productive and believed that the world seemed empty and dark.

Am I Depressed or Lazy?

Basically, I can categorize laziness into two distinct aspects.

First, there’s the kind of laziness where you work your ass off for a continuous period of time and then be lazy for a day or two because you feel that the work done by you was completely worth and you deserve some leisure time.

Second, where you are struggling daily to do some work and be productive. It’s like you feel that you never have the energy to complete a task and then you start procrastinating which ultimately leads to depressed believing that you are good for nothing.

There was a time in my life where I planned to quit social media and live the moment.

Quitting social media gave me ample time to myself and my work.

It felt that I had removed a part from my life as I had lost the connection to my social life. This drained my energy of doing work and I started to spend days by sleeping and staring at the ceiling with a blank mind.

It seemed that I was chained up with laziness and brought a halt to all my work. I had stopped being productive and extending the tasks which I was supposed to finish on a particular date. This made me believe that I was good for nothing and was just a waste of space and people’s time.

Being lazy, unmotivated and depressed destroyed my mental state which led to a breakdown.

Thankfully, my mind was powerful enough to make me realize that this was not right. I needed to do something to break off this manacle.
I started watching motivational videos but I could not break free of it so I started reading every motivational poster which I had pinned on my wall. The most focused thought on my “Wall of Motivation” was:

“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.”
~Vincent Van Gogh

This particular quotation gave me the minimalistic energy to do a small task. I arranged my physics, chemistry and mathematics textbooks within a particular section on my table. This not only made my table look neat, but I had actually completed a small task which gave me the energy to do another. I went on writing down my formulas in a chart and put them up on my wall. This gave me the motivation to study and obviously revise everything that I have done so far. This process went on and I later realized that I had broken off the manacle long back. This made me slowly progress towards success.

I could also categorize depression into categories.

First, there’s the kind of depression which happens due to chemical changes in our brain, which might also lead to mood swings. This type of depression usually gets cured within a week or so.

Second, when events cause depression.

After I was diagnosed with primary hypertension, I was advised to rest, start my medication and skip school until this problem stops. Seeing my declining ability to do a task or attend my classes made me depressed as my mental state could not take it any longer. I was taken to the best of hospitals for treatment but they could not find a cause for it. This slowly put me in a worse state of depression as I thought I could not go any further and might have to live under the influence of medication at such an early stage.

I lost interest in almost every activity, lost weight, started to have trouble sleeping at night, always felt tired and dizzy.

Artwork by Harumi Hironaka

These thoughts also made me trigger the thought to end my life. I started to have suicidal thoughts and lost the ability to make any sort of decision.

I was then taken to a counsellor who could eventually cure me after I started taking anti-depressants, Electroconvulsive therapy and acupuncture. Anti-depressants made the pain numb, electroconvulsive therapy was just like giving a boost of adrenalin to your heart which makes us hyperactive and acupuncture was an immediate solution to everything. Out of all these solutions, I found acupuncture the most effective and accurate as it worked like a miracle.

I even started studying the art of acupuncture and ways to cure to certain ailments.

Depression vs. Laziness

Depression is a much worse state than laziness as I believe that laziness can be steamed off by getting motivation. Depression may be hard to cure but effective steps can be taken up and may take a significant period of time. Being a victim of both the circumstances I can assure that getting off these mental states is possible. All we need is the determination in our heart.

Giving an answer to the question “Am I Depressed or Lazy?” depends from time to time. I agree with the fact that there were times when I was too lazy to even move a muscle. Seeing such changes in myself destroyed the motivation in me. Depression, on the other hand, made me have suicidal thoughts and took a significant period of time to overcome that.

If you want to stay away from these mental illnesses I suggest the following:

  1. Exercise

    When you exercise, we tend to forget the depressing life we were living and makes our brain more active. While exercising we need not think about anything.

    All you need to do is start moving your body, go for a run, jump.

    This will stimulate the blood flow to every part of your body. Complicated problems in life will get simpler and you will start having a conscious flow of thoughts.

  2. Give yourself a treat and time to enjoy and relax

    Yes, this sounds very ironic but I have the most convincing reason. Treating yourself or spending the things we enjoy makes us feel satisfied and happy. When we are satisfied we are willing to take on a bigger project and complete it.
    I remember treating myself with good food as soon as I complete a goal.

    This could be similar to the process of give and take. In simple terms, your brain is giving you the energy and motivation to work. Then you take in good food in order to please and satisfy your brain. It’s like feeding your brain.

    You give in the things you desire and it gives your productivity and accuracy.

    It isn’t terrified of getting overwhelmed by the fact because it realizes that I am not going to push it to accomplish something profitable. This is the means by which I pick up motivation once more.
    When I relax, I find myself thinking about the things I will be able to achieve next as the previous thought of accomplishing a task gives me pleasure and motivation.

  3. Monitor your inner voice

    I consider this as the most important aspect towards being agile. It has a big impact on us as this is the only voice which makes us decide and move towards the right path. Every time my inner voice tells me “Today is going to be a long and a tiring day.” I immediately try to replace it by telling myself something like this “It may be a tiring day but be grateful as you are going to learn something new. Every day is a new experience.”

    These ideas and thoughts have helped me tremendously tackle depression and anxiety. If these methods helped me then I am sure it will help you all too. Just believe in yourself. Have the courage to fight. Carpe Diem!

One Response

  1. alok March 2, 2018

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